Bittersweet taste

Sometimes, life is giving us some important lessons exactly when you’re less expecting them. Sometimes, it’s easier to live in your dreams, to choose to fool yourself than to face the truth, the reality. Is so simple to live in your own world, your own bubble where everything is perfect, where nothing bad happens, when he’s next to you and all yours, when nothing can ruin your happiness.

And that’s exactly why I’m thankful when life or the Universe or God or whoever is doing it is waking me up, is opening my eyes and forces me to face the truth, the reality, and not some fairy tales that are easier to handle.

Yes, waking up from your fairy tale can have a bittersweet taste.

Has a bitter taste when you realize that you were fooling yourself. Has a bitter taste when you see how fast your world can change completely. Is bitter when you’re simply walking on a street and life is forcing you to see the difference between what’s in your head and what is real straight in front of your eyes. And you have no choice but to face it and accept it.

But this is why it’s sweet at the same time. Because this way you won’t end up being hurt by your own illusions. Which is not something that you’re planning. We’re human beings and sometimes we forget to think with our brains, and we choose to think with our hearts.

It might have a bitter taste at the beginning. But in the end, you have to understand that everything happens with a reason. And if life chooses to force you to face some truths, good. Be thankful. See the big picture and be happy that you have time to not lose yourself in illusions. Be grateful that you can change your reality and make it better instead of living in a dream.

Yes, waking up from your fairy tale can have a bittersweet taste. But you’re the one who chooses how it will be at the end: bitter or sweet? And after you decide on what kind of future you want for your soul, after you decide to face the truth instead of lying yourself, you’ll be able to turn your reality into a happy one instead of choosing to live in a fake one.

Be brave enough to face the truth and strong enough to make the right choice.

Advertisements

It’s all about timing

Do you believe that the timing plays a crucial role in our lives? That everything that happens in your life is taking place in a certain moment for a reason? That you meet someone at one time because it has to be at that specific minute?

I do. Everyday proves me that the timing is ruling my life. Even when you have to go to the store, but then decide that you have to stop and stare in some window. Because of this, you will meet totally different people when you’ll reach the store.

Every second matters. Every thought totally changes our future, even the next minute can be changed just by one single thought. And I find this amazing!

But, being honest, sometimes the timing can be a little bit cruel. Sometimes, you wish to be in totally different place than you are. Sometimes, because you decide to walk instead of taking a tram, for example, you wake up being in one of those uncomfortable situations. Facing exactly the people that you don’t want to see in that specific time of day. Pretending you don’t care and keeping your head up, smiling, even if your soul has just been crushed for a moment that felt lasting for a life.

Taking the good part of it: a thousand people can tell you that you’re wrong, and you’ll still do whatever you want, ignoring their opinion. But when you feel yourself crushed, then you remember what matters actually: and that’s you and your happiness. So sometimes maybe a thousand people are not enough, so you just need the perfect timing, just to remember that life is not a fantasy and this is not a dream, that you have to face people that you don’t like, awkward moments and – the most important thing – the truth about yourself.

Talking about the truth about yourself… or, being a little bit more specific, about facing the truth about yourself.. How’s it going? Are you happy with your everyday choices? Can you look in the mirror and smile, knowing everything about you? If not, welcome to everyone’s story. No one can be every single day happy with who they are. There are days when you are and days when you just want to hide or forget the sad parts of your life. If I’m thinking about this, the sad parts are not about your life, but about yourself, because you’re the one who takes the decisions that lead you to those sad moments.

So, going back to the truth about yourself: it might be hard to accept it everyday, but don’t try to lie your own heart! Don’t try to fool anyone; the only one who will be fooled in the end it’ll be you.

Face you and your choices! And make a decision. Choose to fool you and anyone in your life, and you’ll have sad parts in your life every time. Choose to be honest with yourself and everyone around you and good things will come in your life.

Perfectly imperfect and happy with it

Maybe this is not everyone’s experience. But most of us lived it at one point. Most of us were unhappy with who we were. Most of us still aren’t.

Everyday is a struggle, asking ourselves “Why can’t I be like her/him?”. Every day you just want to become someone that you think is better than you, that you think has more qualities than you, that you think is perfect.

And many of this it’s caused by social pressures that our society is trying to feed us every single day.

Why do you want to be perfect? What is “perfect” for you? For some of you, the photo above is perfect. But I’m pretty sure that others will disagree. And this is perfectly normal. We’re all different. Now, instead of a photo, think that I’m asking you about a person. Because it’s the same.

Remembering my last few years, have to admit that looking for perfection was one of my main focus at one moment. So focused on how to become “the perfect girl”, “the perfect lover”, “the perfect friend”.. So focused on forgetting me and changing into someone else that I didn’t recognize. All of this leads to be unhappy with myself. Frustrations, bad relationships, wrong people around me, wrong habits – all of this was because, instead of finding myself, I was trying to forget who I am.

Somehow, focusing so much on loving all the other people around me, loving myself came to a second or third or maybe fourth place. Many other things were more important than this.

How can you show people that you’re a great person, that you have so many beauties inside your soul, if you cannot see it when you’re looking in the mirror? When you forget to love yourself, you’ll end up being alone. Because if you don’t love who you are, no one will do it for you. There is nothing selfish in it.

So yes, at one point, ending up being alone happened. Because there was no time for self love. Or at least I liked to tell that to myself. My parents were the ones who woke me up and remembered that everyone has something good inside. Even me. I just had to want to look inside my soul. Facing the fact that there are things that I can change about me and things that can only be embraced, without changing, but accepting it – that was and still is my everyday challenge.

When I’ll have a daughter, I will teach her so much self love! But more than teaching, is constantly reminding her that she will always worth more than anyone can say. Because loving yourself will bring your inner beauty outside your soul.

So, what is this “perfect” that everyone wants? Life is not about perfection. Life is about being imperfect and loving yourself and all the others around you exactly for this.

She gave me a look

“What’s more important for you? The words she tells you or the look she has in her eyes? ”

There were people that hurt me. And probably they will never know.

Because never told them.

There were people that I loved. With all my heart. And they will probably never know.

Because never told them.

Speaking about everything that you feel, everything that you see, everything that you’re upset about, it’s sometimes like losing the intensity of feelings.

Try feeling everything at a high level.

Never hated anyone. I know how strong that hate can be.

But when it comes to love.. Well, here it’s a different story.

Always loved a lot of people who were or who still are in my life. But never loved someone in such a strong way that can make me feel that I can lose everything, even myself, for the loved one.

Is this even possible? No idea.

But this is the kind of love I want to give.

”She gave me a look”… Because saying everything that you want, everything that you feel sometimes just ruins all the magic.

Because sometimes a look can tell you more than a thousand words.

Let the dogs run the world

Sometimes, I just feel everything is good in this world is just slipping away.

We used to be more concerned about how we treat others. We used to pay more attention on dealing with other people’s feelings.

Now, we just don’t care anymore. We’re focusing only on not breaking our own hearts and that’s it. Doesn’t matter if we break other soul, if it’s not ours, is fine. We became selfish.

We choose people exactly how we choose clothes. We know we’ve many possibilities. So we forget how to appreciate the only one that matters. Or how to not look for someone else. Because tomorrow you can appreciate someone else, right?

That’s why, people, let the dogs run the world. They truly love you, they are loyal. Have you ever seen a dog’s look when you come home? Is priceless. This is the kind of love I want in my life from a person as well. The totally honest one.

Believe me or not, it still exists. You just have to not lose your faith. You’ll probably be hurt many times until you find the right one for you. But you just have to keep this in mind: after many bad things, something really good will come into your life!

Now you’re just getting ready for it! 🙂

Stop seeing the bad in everything and start looking for the good in your life.

“I would burn the whole world down just to have you, I would burn the whole world if anybody tries to hurt you.”

How do you know when someone is telling you the truth?

How do you know when to trust someone?

How do you know when you won’t get hurt anymore?

You don’t.

You only know this: you decide when you stop questioning yourself about this.

You might be good at reading people.

But you have to admit that sometimes you won’t know when someone is telling you the truth or not.

And that sometimes you’ll trust the wrong people.

And that sometimes some people will hurt you.

But this is life. It’s full of good and bad experiences. This is how we get to be our best version of us, by learning from bad things and making good ones.

Take advantage of everything that you go trough. Instead of seeing the bad of some situations, take those situations and try to find the good of it.

Because I guarantee you that the good IS there!

Don’t be afraid to walk away

5FE0BD6D-64A8-4820-A06B-678F94687916.jpeg

 

Sometimes, even if your brain knows that you should walk away, your heart will make anything possible for keeping you there, in that toxic place that you used to love.

 

I’m proud of myself. At one point in my life, I finally managed to leave from one of the toxic people from my life. I finally was the one who left, and not the one who was left.

Even if it sounds childish, it matters. You will gain another kind of self confidence when you are the one who gets to choose to leave or to stay.

 

I was surprised to find out that is not so hard to leave. And it’s not so hard to tell others to just leave.

It’s hard only the beginning. The first time when you say out loud “Just leave. I don’t need you anymore, because I’m enough.”

But I have to be honest, I wasn’t able to say these words out loud for a long time. Because probably I didn’t know my worth. Or maybe I didn’t know that saying this out loud, won’t hurt anyone.

It will actually do more good than bad. It will make you realize that you’re healed. That your soul already moved on.

 

I asked a couple of weeks ago how many chances should you give to someone? Some people told me that you should give only one, others said that you should give two.

For me, giving enough chances until I feel that I am enough and that she/he is worthless is the right answer.

I’m not saying that this is the best way. Probably it’s not, because you invest a lot of time and a lot of patience.

But I learned that this is the way that helps me to realize who are the people with whom I want to spend my whole life and who are the ones that I want to leave somewhere behind me.

 

Don’t be afraid to tell people to leave from your life! If you got into that point with them, it’s obvious that they won’t stay next to you for a long time.

Because the right people will never make you wish to be away from them.

What would you do for love?

This is a question for which everyone will have the same question: “Everything!”.

Every time you talk with someone that is falling in love, they will tell you how great it is and how they would do anything for that person, anything to be with him/her, anything for love!

 

But what “anything” means actually? Is your “anything” the same as his/hers?

For some people, anything means giving attention, agreeing all the time with him/her, sending love messages.

That is just a small part of what “anything” should be.

 

For how many people can you feel that you can do anything?

I would say only for two. You will meet two people for whom you’ll feel that you can do this anything.

 

I remember when I first felt this feeling. It was strong, it was intense, it was everywhere in my body.

~ I remember how I was trusting that person, no matter how many lies he was telling me.

~ I remember how I was ready to leave my apartment every time he was calling me, no matter the hour.

~ I remember how I was defending him in front of everyone for everything.

~ I remember how I forgave him for all the times that he hurt my heart.

~ I remember how I was ready to take him back every time he left.

~ I remember how I was ready to lie to everyone for him.

~ I remember how sometimes I left all my friends for him.

~ I remember how I accepted to be so weak in front of him, just because I loved him.

 

I loved him a lot and I let him tearing me apart.

 

So, what would I do for love?

I would probably do the same as I did for that man, but now with the right person.

Chances

You give a chance to every person you meet.

~ You give them a chance to know you.

~ You give them a chance to love you.

~ You give them a chance to hurt you.

Sometimes you give them more than one chance.

Sometimes they will take advantage from every chance you gave them.

And sometimes they will just break any of them.

How can we know what is the perfect number of chances that we can give to each person?

How can we know when to stop and just close that door and move forward?

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

123a8fd27ab190a0b4511460adec5884

 

Yes. It ‘s not.

 

Have you ever felt that you have so many things to do, too many meetings to attend, so many people to see, so many places to visit, that you will have to give yourself for all of this?

I had. And it was so tempting to have everything, that, at one point, I chose everything else except me. I gave up my beauty rituals, my free time, my hobbies. My schedule was so full of everything else except me, that I started to feel that I will collapse.

Even if I used to try to always look good and fresh, the make-up and the coffee weren’t enough at a certain point. People started to ask me if I am feeling good, if I have health issues or if I am sad or sick. And I was surprised about this, not knowing how to reply.

And then I realized: I was so caught in taking care of everything that’s happening outside, that I totally forgot about what’s happening inside of me. It was so easy to just leave myself behind for other people.

 

So I stopped doing this.

 

I pressed the “Switch Off” button. I’ve switched off myself from too many events, from too many people that I didn’t need, from too many activities that never helped me for anything. I stopped looking around me and started to look inside of me.

How was my soul? How was my body?

They both were tired. They looked sad. They were never happy with what I gave to them. Because I gave everything, except the inner peace.

 

So I started to look after this: my inner peace. I started to ask myself what’s more important? Making everyone happy or to first of all make myself happy?

The answer was simple, but giving up to old and unhealthy habits and people… That was hard.

Many people thought that I became a selfish person. “Why don’t you want to go out? Why are you replying so late?” Questions that had the same answer: “Now I have more time for myself and less for the others”.

 

It’s a thin line between taking care of yourself and becoming selfish. It’s so easy to cross it. I saw it many times. But I believe that most of the people aren’t selfish, even if others will say that.

The people that are truly happy are the one that have discovered that they matter the most. Not the 1 month friends, not the last car model, not the biggest Friday night event, but only them, their soul; their inner peace.

 

So I tell you the same thing that I repeat to myself every day: you matter!

The good things will come into your life only after you’ll learn how to put yourself first.

 

Peace! 🙂